Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Lost....In the Subway Station....

You wake up.....You feel as if something is wrong....something you forgot....then it clicks.....Your late for work! almost an hour late!!!! You jump outa' bed and get ready for work, as you make your mad dash towards the door you grab handful of cornflakes...stuffing them into your mouth. you run for almost 5 blocks before you hit the subway station, You run down the steps and find yourself in possibly THE most crowded room in the you do what any normal American who is late for work and gets stuck in long lines fight your way to the front. You push everyone out of the way, to make it to the front.....but your attempts are in look around, but it hopeless.....You are lost.........

* * * * *
You push countless people to get out of this endless maze, but to no avail, Frustration builds.....You start shoving people out of the way with all your might, for 30 minutes you try your hardest to find freedom, But its no use....You stop for a breather. You stop and try to think literately for a second, You know 2 things, You are Lost....and...You are REALLY REALLY late for work.

** * * * *

You wake up...Its been 2 days and you are still stuck in the subway station.
You walk around a bit...your mind is thinking of one thing and one thing only.....Freedom.
Your delirious and are seeing haven't eaten anything more than the little bits of food you scavenged the trash can for the past two days. You have given up all hope. You keep wondering and eventually find yourself back at your little 'camp site'. You are cold, hungry and smelly. You wish that someone would help you...Then it clicks....Right next to your camp is a sign.....a sign that might be your only chance of survival! a sign that could save you from this terrible, HORRID place....The sign said...."EXIT".

* * * * *

You jump with joy! then topple over from a severe case of the munchies. You open the door and see a bright light. you cover your eyes...there IS a the end of a tunnel and up some stairs....You slowly walk up the stairs.....heart pumping.....hands sweaty and shaking. You make it to the top and see.....FREEDOOOOMMM!!!!!!!

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Mystery of the Mystery...

You are walking down the street in New York city, going to get yourself some good old fashioned soup from your favorite restaurant, you tell yourself your going to get the Chicken noodle soup, over and over. You even distinctly remember saying to the waitress last week "I am definitely getting the chicken noodle soup again!" And so it was. You enter the restaurant and sit down, the waitress comes up to you. "The Chicken noodle soup?" she asks
You nod slowly, wondering how she could have guessed so easily....and so the Mystery was started....

* * * *

As you watch the waitress walk away you notice her phone starts to ring, and she answers it....then goes to the only corner with no one around, where no one can hear.
Your positive she is Guilty, of what however....You know not.
she hangs up and tells the Chef to start up the grill, you think to yourself "Thats interesting.....I ordered chicken noodle soup......"
then she says to the Chef "Also, start some Chicken Noodle soup."
You think again, silently "How weird, someone ordered Chicken Noodle soup...just as me....Conspiracy?..Maybe.." Someone walked by and sneezed, you say "Bless You." Then it clicks in your mind, the sneeze was a distraction so they could put something in your soup......of this you are sure.

* * * *

The waitress is carrying the soup your way, you try to smile and act as if nothing is wrong as she sets the soup down at your table and asks "What would you like to drink?" You figured it out, the sneeze was a distraction to distract you from the real distraction, of which you didnt see....they want to poison your drink!
You say "Lemonade please." trying to stay polite, as not to cue them of your investigation. As the waitress walks away you thoroughly examine your soup but find nothing awry with it. You pick up your spoon, It isn't right, someone gave you a spoon with the concave side think "I have to get out of here."
The waitress comes back with a tall glass of Lemonade, she set it down and left without so much as a word. You look at the lemonade...its pink..... not traditional for the average lemonade drinker, Poisoned with pink poison, far to weird, you decide to not drink it. You take out your wallet and pay, then get up and head for the door, as you open it you notice about 5 waiters and waitresses pile around a boy and start singing Happy Birthday, it is obviously his twelfth birthday, even though he looked only eleven....Then you figure it out, its all coming together! You know just what is going on...

* * * *

You run to your friends house, you know of all people he would understand.
You knock on his door and he answers and says " Hey, whats up?" and opens the door wider, signaling for you to walk inside. you do so and tell him "There is a conspiracy going on Frank!" his eyes turn bright as he stated " I have always suspected as much..."
You tell him everything going on in the restaurant, then finish with "It was his Twelfth birthday, what is 12 x 12?"
Frank thought for a bit and answered " 144." You ask " Whats the square root of 144?"
He looks both ways and say " uhh 12..."
You ask again " Whats 12 + 12?"
He says " 24, where is this going...?"
You say " half of 24 is 12,which minus 4 is 8...thats how many sides are on a stop-sign. i saw 3 of them on my way to the restaurant, 3 x 8 is 24..."
You saw that he understood you, but to prove such a conspiracy would be nigh impossible...

* * * *

You go to the restaurant again and you see the waitress digging through her purse, and you find your evidence. You confront the waitress, and say "We have caught you!"
She looks bewildered....its convincing, but if you were not as sharp as a tack you might not have noticed. she asked "What are you talking about" you gather your thoughts as a crowd draws near and explain everything, ending with "And that is exactly how i know you, of all people, are guilty!"
She looked at you and asked " Guilty of what?" You laugh and tell her" You are guilty of selling drugs to a chain-gang of monkeys that live off the coast of the Florida Keys!!" The crowd Gasps. She panics and says " You have no proof!"
Then you say "On the contrary, is this not your purse? i saw you digging through it today..."

She nodded

"Then why is there a list in your purse saying that you cannot forget to send the shipment of drugs to a chain-gang of monkey that live off the coast of the Florida keys!?"

She looked stumped, and then she admitted to it...
"Call the cops, get this drugs selling monkey friendly waitress off the streets."

And so it was, the Mystery of the Mystery was solved, the waitress arrested, and You a hero.


Thank you all for reading, RanDoMiZeR.

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Jungle: The Last Stand.

Your vision starts to fade in, making a blurry image of a laboratory. Test tubes broken and lying everywhere, the contents spewed across the floor. You feel a sever pain in your head on top of the headache. You reach up and rub your throbbing head, and stand up to look around, you walk around for a bit then you notice a blueprint sitting on the table, its a little wrinkled but readable, you look and see that they are plans for a machine of foreign and unique nature. You look a little closer, it looks like a bomb of some sort, it also had some sort of map on it, you decide to take it with you. Still dazed, you make a mistake, you walk outside........

* * * *

"Its time Julie..." Looking at Julie, whom is armed with a make-shift shield and a bat, and you say "We cant wait any longer, we got to get out of here, the faster the better."
"Ok, I'm ready, lets go...." said Julie with a solid, fearful glare.
You grab your make-shift spear made out of a pole you found in the pound....and open the door.....

* * * *

As you walk outside, you feel your heart sink, laying before you is a bright orange, stormy sky and legions upon legions of cats, some with armor, some without.
You hear something behind you, a small sound that is barely audible, you turn slowly to face the unknown source of sound, and find yourself Mano-a-Gato with a war dressed cat whom had very large claw extensions. it is glaring at you, as a Predator glares at its Prey, and leaps....

* * * *

You run outside, Julie and a group of savage dogs behind you, and start attacking, fiercely dodging arrows and claws, you hear a loud, pain-induced shriek. You look over towards the source.....Its Julie.......

* * * *

You dodge just in time and run, not knowing were to go... you round a corner and run straight through a group of cats. Time seemed so slow, then you hear a loud, shriek of pain....You stop and look, You run as fast as you can, fast.....faster.......slower........

* * * *

You see Julie unconscious on the ground and a huge leader cat standing over her, you feel and anger burning white-hot, like nothing you have ever felt before. You unleash a savage, hideous war cry and lunge your spear towards the cat, and with lighting fast reflexes it simultaneously jumps and catches the spear only to twist it around and hurl your way, in the split second before it hits you time seems to freeze...You, in a blur of motion, jump out of the way, do a roll and grab a run full speed towards the evil cat.......Fast.......Faster......Slower....

* * * *

You reach the clearing and see and overgrown cat and a man fighting over a limp body on the ground.......You run towards them, jump on the back of the Giant cat-beast.
Swinging wildly, you knock it down, buying enough time for you, the man, and the unconscious female to get to safety.
* * * *

You set Julie down just as she starts to awaken, you feel an overpowering relief...Then you remember the man who helped you. You turn to him "Thanks, we would have died if you hadn't helped."
"No problem, I'm Ron." You look over at Julie, she has started to stand up, then you notice the giant machine in the middle of the room, glowing purple. Ron gasps and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper "What is it....." Said Ron in a low voice.
You grab the piece of paper, and read it carefully "It says here to it's to control the world, maybe its a mind control machine..?" Your hear a sound behind you, through the window you see a cat.....
You think as quickly as you can, You run to the machine, and pull the lever.
Ron yells "What are you doing!" A loud alarm started to go off cats came from every direction.....they ran through the door and grabbed Julie and Ron. then they come after you.......Fast.....Faster.......then suddenly, stopped.

* * * *

You awake in your family room, warm and comfortable on your couch. Your wife Julie comes and asks you if you want a sandwich...

Your cat comes and cuddles with you, purring quietly...


Thank you for Reading, RanDoMiZeR

Monday, March 3, 2008

The Jungle (continued)

Your vision is blinded by an unknown amount of cats, everywhere, from every side they are lurching, you make attempt after attempt to get up and run. finally one attempt works, you run faster than you have ever before in your life. thinking about how to escape you grab the doorknob and open the door....only to see the most perturbing thing in your life. at least 10 to 30 legions of cats. giant water tanks filled with catnip. they are taking over the world, you hear screaming nearby and rush towards the sound of another human look around the corner to see cats watching TV, all turning to look at you. they lunge and you barely escape, scared you run faster and go
to the only place you can think of that would be safe.....the dog pound....

* * * * *

You run , hearing the cats hisses behind you, seeing cats ahead of you unknown to them that you are coming. you leap over a bunch of cats only to land on another. these ones have spikes on there tails, and armor. terrified you start to outrun them, but they are hardened cat warriors. you have no chance escaping, even though you are only 4 blocks from the dog pound. you are right in front of a sports store. you run in and start scanning for a baseball bat, which you find quickly, you hear glass breaking and run towards it, ready with a baseball bat. you go around the corner and find a terrified store owner in tears. you ask her if she is ok. she responds saying she is fine, she needs help. you reach to help her and hear a growl. low and turn to find the cats best warriors, war heroes......

* * * * * *

Feeling a sense of helplessness, you get courage enough to charge them with only your baseball bat and a burning desire to live. you swing towards one but he jumps out of the way and leaps onto your face, yelling a blood lust roar, you try to free yourself, but you cant, you feel you have lost...

* * * * *

You hear the store owner yell, you feel strength like no other take your body over. you throw the cats off and yell a roar so loud you hurt your own ears. you scare the cats away...for now... you tell the store owner to follow you, but first you ask her name. " Julie, my name is Julie." You start off to the dog pound with Julie. hearing hisses from everywhere, every turn , every where you look you hear a hiss behind you. you make it to the dog pound, but not a moment to soon. as you look out the window you see a horde of war heroes. waiting for there prey to come out of hiding....

To be Continued....

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Jungle

In the jungle are dangers unknown to the average American, almost unknown completely, you could come across a dangerous bug with poisons beyond your comprehension. Or you could come across a snake that could kill you in fifteen different ways….using only its tail. But there is certainly a more terror inflicting beast in the wild, one so threatening and dangerous, it makes all the rest look like mere specs of dirt. It is…. The American housecat!!

* * * * * *

Unknown to the journalist watching, the housecat is at play with its fellow companions, looking innocent and harmless. This species of cat are very social most times, but can be aggressive. With no intention, the journalist trips over the cat food bowl, the cats freeze and view the journalist as prey. the all run in different directions, working as a team to bring down prey much larger than themselves. The journalist panics and runs, getting away from certain disaster, for now…

* * *

The cats come out of hiding while the journalist peers quietly from kitchen, they start hissing and clawing towards one general direction, towards the family room, in wonder you sneak over to find out what they are doing, to find a small basset hound panicking and running circles, then frozen with fear, the dog falls over, the cats have won…they are about to go and enjoy there daily feast, but they sense something watching and run away. You don’t see them for a good 30 minutes, so you go to look for them, you walk into the family room…nothing but an eerie silence. You hear a small, barely audible hiss behind you, you turn to find nothing. Imagination, you think its just your imagination, then you hear something above you, you look up to a terrible sight, a bloodthirsty cat hyped up on catnip is staring you down, you feel something brush your leg, you look down to 2 more, then you look back up and the cat is gone. Only to appear again for the ambush, he jumps and grabs firmly onto your shoe, pulling it off and running away. Panicked you run away only to be stopped by 4 more cats, jumping at your legs, tripping you. You stumble to your feet, fearful for your life. You run again, but your tries are in vain...

* * *

You reach for the door knob and a cat lurches onto your hand, and another onto your leg, an yet another one onto your back, knocking you over. You throw a few off, trying to get up, but to no avail. You know that the Jungle, the territory of the house ca, is a very dangerous place, but you didn’t expect this, jumping from side to side they all freeze, forming a perfect path, you get up and walk dawn the row of cats, fearing they will harm you. You reach the end, there is one, small kitten. So cute, so innocent, you reach to pet it, as you do, it jumps at you. You are attacked from all sides. You see nothing but cats…

To Be Continued…

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Absolute hottest I have ever been

You wake up to the sound of the radio; a record setting high temperature has been set in your town. You get out of your bed and turn the A.C on. Its only 8 A.M. in the morning. You stumble towards the fridge to grab the milk, only to find the milk is bad, disappointed you grab the eggs instead. You crack an egg into the bowl, as you do you see bead of sweat drop into the egg bowl, it’s your sweat. You walk to the A.C. system and try to find out why its not working…it was fried…

* * * *

You start to panic, thinking some water will help you. You grab a cup and turn the tap on as cold as you possibly can, it comes out hot…you smell fire, and the stench of burning food…you walk into the empty kitchen to see the eggs have lighted on fire, as fast as possible you run and get a bucket of water and put it out. It was still in the bowl…you aren’t hungry anymore, you just want a cool place and maybe some cold water. You think the pool is a good place to go to cool off. You get your swimming suit on, and start for the door, the biggest mistake of your life…

* * * *

You reach for the door, and grab the doorknob. You feel a searing pain in your hand as you twist the doorknob, you release your hand before the doors opens, jumping back from pain you curse and go to the kitchen to grab the pot holders. You get them and walk for the door, you grab the doorknob fast, twisting as quick as humanly possible. You swing the door open, and, almost like an explosion, you get thrown back from a tremendous wall of heat, crippling with pain you try to scream, but to no avail, you throat is to dry. You curl into a ball and roll over moaning and trying to grab onto something, anything that could block the heat from your face or a few seconds, rolling in pain. Your vision go white, blue, red, writhing in constant pain you roll again and you start to fall…

* * * *

You awake to the sound of a radio, sweating you stand up. You look around and realize that it’s all was just a dream…you relax, because now You now know how it feels to be The Hottest You Have EVER been in your life!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The ABSoLUTE Coldest I Have ever been

The night was dark; you could barely see your own hand. You sit, watching TV, feeling tired and warm under your blanket. You have to get up and go to your bed before it gets too late, but you are too comfortable. Eventually you get enough courage to walk to your room, only to find that the terrors of this night have only begun…

* * * *

You stand up with the blanket still stretched across you. Feeling the warmth, and a false sense of security. you have to put the blanket in the far closet, o so far away from your comfortable bed. You start walking, you curl your toes to keep them warm, you feel weird traversing in the dark, not knowing where you are. You eventually make it to the closet, trying to hurry and get to bed; you make your first mistake, you knock over the dog water dish as you feel the freezing water cover you feet and ankles, you curse into the long empty darkness. You put the now wet blanket in the laundry to dry, leaving yourself exposed to the cold, bone chilling night…

* * * *

The cold starts to consume your very being, you start to speed walk to your room, looking nervously around the living room, which you have just entered. Feeling cold and scared, you start a slow trot to your room… not knowing the terrors. You make it to the door outside your room, there is a sound inside your room, you freeze, and listen…it sounds like and ice tray when you crack it open. You try to open the door, it does not budge, you try again, this time harder, still, no give. With all your might you turn the doorknob and throw all your weight into the door, and it cracks down the middle, leaving a crack just big enough for you to fit through, you squeeze through, and then you feel a sudden burst of freezing cold air, you are so cold, your breath freezes before it leaves your mouth. You can’t move. You can’t hardly think straight. Out of reflex you curl into a ball and try to get warm, failing would mean you freeze to death, so you grab your ankles and you make a desperate attempt to warm yourself. Falling unconscious, you think “I have failed…”

* * * *

You awake only to the warm sun falling on your chilled face, warming your ever cold bones. You know that the night is over, yet it haunts you, you now know how it feels to be The Coldest You Have Ever Been in Your LIFE!

Thank You all for reading. ThE RanDoMiZeR